“Oh dad look, such a beautiful cat! And each of her eyes is a different colour.”
“Yes son. Legend has it that such cats are really Satan in disguise.”
“Yup. This one looks particularly evil. She must be the Satan Ki Nani.”
“If I pray over this Bisleri, it will become holy water. Then I’ll sprinkle some over it.”
“Good idea. If it is really evil it will run away.”
Of course it ran away. Cats hate water. I smile wickedly. I love spinning these stories with the kids.
She perched herself on the lamp-post as Albus, Lily and James played in the front-yard with their father's Nimbus 2007. "James has inherited his father's flying skills!", she thought. She visited this cottage in Godric's Hollow every year on July 31 and watched over her bravest student's family grow. Her train of thoughts halted abruptly when Harry called out, "You didn't have to perch on a lamp-post to wish me Happy Birthday, Professor! Please come in, Ginny's waiting!" And the tabby cat transformed into a tired Minerva McGonagall. She smiled with stern eyes at Potter's humour.
Once upon a hole, there lived two mice who led a hippie lifestyle, stealing whenever they can and running whenever they should. They had an enemy—a cat with eyes as devious as they come—in sight. As a result, the couple would remain indoor and make love all day. One night, the two got out for food. But before they could realise, two paws thumped each down; both struggled to escape. All they could manage was turning turtle under the furry grip. Face to face with death, they didn’t’t know how to respond to “Can we be friends?”.
“What have you got?”
“A pet Papa! Remember you said I could get one if I did well in my exams?”
“Hmm.” Papa grunted. “Ok. What is it?”
“Look”, said the kid, extending the squirming blanket.
The father peered with his nose scrunched, and blanched.
“THIS! I am not letting this animal into my house! Get anything else!”
“NO!” Papa growled. “Of all the species in the world? NO WAY!”
The kid sulked.
Papa nodded his head. “You kids, so naive, so trusting. How many times do we tell you that there’s nothing more dangerous than humans?”
Face of Life she knew not as an adornment, but naivete, where beauty was felt only after touching and seeing with eyes wide open. No infused emotions. Such was childhood.
A ravenous teen took over the child in her, one fine morning. She sensed patches of a rainbow of infatuation and confusion all over. That was an unrecognised face that she saw in her stainless steel drinking mug. A shriek of abashment turned mute behind her tongue. Was this her final moment of realisation? That primordial dark time that is called adolescence? Question dwelled in time's slender stalk!
“Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty,
little ball of fur.
Happy Kitty, Sleepy Kitty,
purr, purr, purr”.
a startled me wonders,
Wife: you are not Sheldon and stop singing this song in your sleep so loudly...
And that’s not a pussycat that’s my wig!
An old farmer accidentally ran over a cat on his way back home from the market. From that day, animals from his farm started disappearing everyday. He was too old to keep a watch all the time, so he hired a local hit man to catch and kill whoever was causing this. Two days later when he returned from the market, he found the hitman’s body. His throat was slit open. As he went to take a closer look, the same cat emerges from the hitman's corpse and jumps at him, giving him a fatal heart attack.
Seated on the beach bench smoking my third cigarette on a full moon night, I saw that ticket. “Come to see a Cat and a Fox perform on the mic accompanied by the band ‘Murder of Crows’”. Not convinced, so I asked around about it. Kids playing on the beach, old men sitting on the bench and even the man smoking his beedi hadn’t heard of it. I picked my uneaten apple, got onto the cycle for handicapped people like me and cycled away on the endless road listening to ‘How to Overcome Hallucination’ cassette on my Walkman.
"Come, I'll show you this week's frame. Give me an idea for a story"
"See, cute cat."
"It looks grumpy."
"It's angry. It's growling."
"Yeah, it probably doesn't like the camera being shoved at it's face."
"Ever wondered if people don't like it either? Forcing to have to smile thanks to all this selfie madness, the need for everyone to post everything online?"
"Maybe that's what gets their goat. No wonder people seem so irritable and cynical."
"Hmmm, so did you get an idea for your story yet?"
Whiskers and I went for a walk.
''The climate is getting very unpredictable'' she said.
''It's because of Global warming'' I replied.
I also explained how harmful emissions into the atmosphere and increased carbon dioxide created problems.
''Who is doing all this?!'' she exclaimed.
''We humans are responsible.'' I replied in shame.
She asked me not to feel ashamed as she knew we would work hard to reverse this.
I looked at her, even more disappointed.
''You people are taking steps aren't you?''
I shook my head in shame.
''Wait... What?! '' she exclaimed as she couldn't believe our stupidity.
Gib: Hey! Wake up you otiose amoeba.
G: WHAT THE FAAHHH!
Gib: oh the moron is up.
G: Is this a dream?
*Gib slaps G*
Gib: does it look like a dream to you now?
G: But you're a cat.
Gib: Good attempt trying to elevate yourself from the moronic state.
Gib: What are you doing with your life? Lying on your bed like a puddle of butt crap.
G: What do you want me to do?
Gib: First of all wake Freak up from this dream.
G: But I’m awake.
*Gib slaps him, G wakes up*
It’s amazing how silent cats are. Like always I didn’t even know when mine got into my bed till her warm fur grazed my knee. I can feel her stepping carefully towards my head. I don’t open my eyes. I smile. I know she’s going to curl up near my head and probably give me a lick to tell me that she’s not mad for closing the door on her. Wait. Closing? Suddenly two simultaneous sounds send chills down my spine. The furious scratching sound from the other side of the door, and the giggle from near my head.
It used to roam freely in our colony. Whenever it crossed the path of our neighbour, he used to curse it as a bad omen and hit with a stick. One day it was lying dead on the road apparently due to a fatal blow on its head. A good Samaritan buried it nearby.
Few months later, the neighbour's family went on a pilgrimage on an auspicious day.
After two days news came that the entire family was washed away with no trace in a flash flood on their way to the pilgrim.
No cremation,no last rites performed.
"...and hence, drunk driving is dangerous," concluded the guest speaker at an awareness program. Everyone started heading towards the lunch served in the next room. A credulous cat followed them between their legs. For she only knows that where men gather, there shall be food. And where metal boxes move, mothers and brothers get run over and killed. Too bad that their lives are so invaluable that roadkills aren't even looked down as crimes. The young cat stood there waiting for scrap food, subconsciously wondering if ever would a car chase her to death too.
Been a captive at the Johnson's. Tough bad people. They torture me in a tub full of water. I. Hate. Water. Everyone wants to run their fingers through my fur coat. Disgusting. They take me for a ride on their rocking chair and keep swinging for hours. I pretend to sleep all the time to avoid human contact. Haven't hunted a pigeon or a rat in months. My claws miss the traces of meat, my tongue craves blood. They feed me cat food. Yuck! Waiting for this Delhi winters.
Sundays are for sleeping. But I was awakened by the touch of soft fur and a soft purr. It took me several seconds to focus and figure out, first the outline and then each feature of a cat, in front of my face. I got up with a start. Bloody Hell!!! what a waste of my Saturday it has turned out to be, driving kilometers away, with a cat in a sack, to be gotten rid of. Only to be woken up the next morning by the same fella staring right down at me, not at all pleased!
His caterwauling was heard without intermission, at a distance. He's been bullying unsuspecting others of his clan in his ruthless effort to rule over the locality. Having being abandoned by his master twice, for such kind of behavior from his part, he was pretty adamant.
Gifted with a sharp sense of smell, he somehow, found his way home; much to the disappointment of his master. Now, being run over by a car, others of his ilk ganged up against him, scratching him by their paws. At last he took to his heels; never to come back.
"This is the last time I'm telling you, behave yourself or I'll ......" he stopped as his wife started transforming into a cat in front of his eyes.
Shocked, still trying to understand...... when the fierce feline pawed towards him. Scratched on his left cheek making him fall on the floor. Blood was trickling on his cheek.
Writhing in pain he got up, opened eyes, still in shock.
Saw around him.... oh, it was a dream.
She was deep asleep. He wondered whether she is dreaming the same. Spent rest of the night attempting to sleep.
The thirst was insatiable. She used to live in the wilderness happy with the life she led. But she was tamed and forced to live in confinement. She felt suffocated. She longed for the wilderness. She loved the thrill of the hunt. Finally she gave in to the thirst as her lust for blood increased. On a silent night she went to her master’s bedroom and silently with one clean sweep, cut his throat with her claws. She was free now finally.
It was an icy cold morning when I felt something soft nestling my feet. I woke up to notice this little kitten sleeping on the bed next to my feet.
No, it was not a pet. Kitty happened to make her way through the window to my bed after I fed her a serving of milk last evening.
How did it to know it was my house, my window & my bed?
Universal consciousness, I suspect!
"Brownie, Blackie, Maxie...its lunch time!", Sally merrily exclaimed, as three little kittens pranced around elegantly in the garden. The other two kittens hissed and recoiled back, while Brownie started growling viciously. Sally realized that there was something squishy under her left foot. When she looked down, she saw a quivering snake. Before she could let out a scream of horror, Brownie had launched himself at the startled reptile. The injured snake slithered away, while Brownie started walking in circles, blinded by pain. Within minutes, he collapsed in the lap of his sobbing mistress.
She saw her master being strangled.
She was perched atop the kitchen cabinet.
She saw the murderer leave with the money.
The lawyer asked the judge to permit her as a witness, the only one.
When the three suspects were lined up, she watched, motionless.
She knew that trials can take years, and the guilty can get an out.
She ignored the suspects, they were led out sniggering.
Two days later, one of them was found dead with a ripped face and chest.
“Miaow”, she spat at Dr. Harbinger. I’ll scratch your eyes out, followed by a louder miaow (GO AWAY!)
“Wake up in 3… 2… 1…!” and Sally sat up with a start. “Did you get anything, doctor?” she asked grimly.
“Yes, we’ll do another sitting at 10AM tomorrow,” he said, shutting his notebook.
“I smell human…”, she sniffed lustily, as her tummy rumbled. “Time to feast!”
Dr. H woke her up again. She knew it was worse this time.
“You have two alter egos – of a cat and a vampire – both lethal.” he diagnosed. “Get admitted” he added unceremoniously.
"Why are you staring at your cat's picture Antra?" Aditya asked wiping her tears.
"Because I'm missing her terribly." She replied.
"C'mon baby she was just a cat! I'll gift you new one."
"No Adi! She was not just a cat! She was my pet! My Other half! Nobody can replace her."
"Antra She's gone."
"Yeah. And she took away all the happiness with her." She murmured.
Friends, Romans and country men,
Lend me your ears, for, I have lost mine.
Hear my crap so that you don't need to hear anything else.
Those irritating mobile calls.
Those frustrating insults from your boss.
Those complaining voices from the other side of the bed.
Those buzzing cries of your alarm clock.
Those arrogant laughter of your rich neighbour.
And finally those plastic mourning at your grave.
So lend me your ears, for, I have lost mine.
Her husband was plotting her murder and she needed help to escape the house. His chivalry made him help her. Escape to safety.
Next day he was arrested for the murder of her husband .His finger prints were all over the place and the murder weapon was found on him..He remembered how he had taken the revolver from her gloved hands,reassuring her that it'd never be used against her!
"She was beautiful and had feline grace; and as is known of a cat, she'd covered her tracks well!", muses he, now in his prison cell.
Michael hated it. Since the day his wife received it as a gift. Maria would give her full attention to that small ball of fur, forgetting about him.
He had to endure those fierce eyes every day. He could swear the cat was making fun of him.
Consequently, he had tried to get rid of Tigressita 3 times so far. But the goddamn animal had always found her way back.
Her name was Mimi - or at least I christened her that …cute, fluffy, beautiful big eyes but lost….I first met her in my lawn; she was hiding beneath a bench, little scared but yet strong to hold herself well.
Must admit that I was not very fond of cats but there was something about Mimi that melted my heart and made me to take her home… We bonded immediately, initially shy like new lovers but later comfy and playful….
It’s a beautiful relationship beyond any expectations, beyond giving and receiving, in its purest form of love and affection!
I suddenly woke up from a dream, a scary one, a place where I can’t even think of existing, or maybe a place where I used to be.
It was all blood around, hatred spread, everyone in tears, it wasn't a favourable place to exist, homes were shattered, fire all around, so much just to breathe.
I was a human then; I found out that thankfully I am not one anymore.
I am valued more than them, I am taken care of, and I am just not one of them, thankfully.
Where’s my milk though? *rubs eyes*
He tied the rope to ceiling fan, made a knot just like he read in that article 'How to commit suicide' on internet and then test checked whole arrangement with sand bag. He didn't want to fail in his last project also. He was 38, divorced and broke. Suicide seemed a welcome relief. He climbed on to the stool, placed rope around his neck. He was about to let go and suddenly he saw his only living companion 'misty' peeking through his window.
He climbed down thinking let me feed her first.
Maria was very curious. Every night, the same cat, coming at her window, meowing, asking to come inside. It would only stay for a few minutes, watching her. Then it would jump out the window, disappearing in the dark.
Tonight she’s following her. Ahhh, we’re walking through empty yards, narrow streets, the cemetery. Beyond it, an enchanted garden, sparkling and singing. The kitty turns around and speaks:
“Do you like it? You really thought I had no idea you were following me?”
Maria gasps, waking up laughing, back in her bed. She turns on one side and falls asleep.
Those eyes like glittering dimes spying through the designed window glass have returned to haunt. Even the darkest shade of my personality is collapsing, trembling and suffocating under the constant pestering of those eyes.
Courage to garner some ephemeral courage seems excruciatingly painful. Switching on the lamp which is safely located away from this perilous gaze becoming insurmountable peak in my mind.
Suddenly, two huge White lights like fireballs rolling towards the window where the two deep eye monster is standing. After a screechy halt, Someone shouts so loudly that I almost exploded with laughter "Oye, Billi !”
I was an injured street kitten, chasing your car once; you picked me up and caressed me as if I were your lost friend. For me, that was kindest impulse of humanity.
I was incredibly delighted when I felt presence of your body next to mine that assured me finally I am at home. You are my home. Suddenly you switched on some box device. I cried, scratched myself, such a brutal scene that was, blood, dead kids, screams, tears. When did humans become so heinous?
Sometimes, I’m frightened by you Shelly, than animals.
A UFO landed some where on earth,
A strange looking cat comes out of that spaceship.
All the cats around the world got some kind of a signal, they all started to behave & act like soldiers. All dogs got scared of cats and instead of barking they are licking their feet The alien cat shouted loudly
Now the time has come to show these humans who is boss.
We gave human beings enough time to prove their worth, but they have failed miserably "Kill them all". Suddenly I woke up and saw my cat licking my face.
"Girls and boys ,so tell me what you know abour cat?Is it good or bad animal"
"What is good and bad, mam?"pk asked
"Ok,i will come to your answer but first please tell me types of cats you knew."
"I know only one type of kats i.e. 'p-kats',and nothing like good or bad cats."
" Is he alien?" Teacher suddenly awaked from deep sleep and only after knowning it was just dream she calmed down...or may be its' hangover of "pk"...or another wrong number...may be
Radha: (Passionately) This year I will complete all my resolutions. I will fall in love. Kiss a boy. Share my deepest fears with someone. Get my life in shape. Get my body in shape. Get my thoughts in shape. Then I will be ready to take on the world. As of now its time for a short nap.
Mr. Anderson: (Indifferently) Meow.
"Dad, see this grumpy cat." His daughter thrust a picture in his face. Before Ayan regained back his composure, she ran off, leaving him with that picture. A reminder of his past. Mona hated anyone pulling her leg. Whenever anyone did, she used to scowl. Ayan loved those moments. Showing the picture one day, he'd said, "Look at you, Mona!". They had fought and then made love.
It was 5 years back. Now both married to different people. Yet he could still see her in that cat. He smiled, whispering, "Grumpy Mona!". His eyes seemed lost somewhere.
Nasir was lifting weights. Pepper was out and hungry for three days. She peeped through the window and meowed. Nasir ignored the cat he used kick when his cat loving girlfriend was out. In less than two minutes, he felt something furry on his legs.
He lost balance and fell down that injured his spine while iron disc weights locked his hands. He couldn't move. Pepper was by his side and purred slowly.
She then licked soft cheeks of his face. Then she started biting. Slowly she made her way towards the neck. Pepper was hungry no more.
He enjoyed being alone but now a cat crawls into his apartment ever since his wife "disappeared" without a trace. She crawls into his apartment at her will and showed no sign of fear. She would scorn at him and as if obeying her commands he cleans his house and pours her warm milk. Her cold stare always reminded him of his bossy wife. He looked at his wife's photograph which he had taken a day before she "disappeared". He pulled out his camera, and caught a snap. "Time for you to disappear" he said moving towards the cat.
He walked into my studio late one night requesting for a portrait session. We fixed an appointment. I set up my equipment and said, "Say cheese!". He replied, "meow!"
She was always around for her children. But they felt Mom does nothing. She’s just a housewife.
Passionate about photography, she clicked the beautiful cat and updated her status with the cat-pic on her secret FB account ‘Me’ . Next day, it had gone viral.
Son - “Our group wants me to trace ‘Me’ who’s won a prize. No details. How the hell do I trace ‘Me’?”
Mom – “That’s m…” Abruptly she stopped. “Send a message.”
Her children would be in for a surprise when the prize would reach her.
Maybe then, they would realize Mom’s more than a housewife.
A stray cat had come into their home a few days ago and made it her own. 8 year old Ria fawned over the creature but her mom was furious. "Cats are evil," she said. "You can't keep her. They bring evil spirits into the house." Reluctantly, Ria obeyed and closed the door every time the cat tried to sneak in. Two days later, she came back from school to find the cat dead outside their house with three little kittens mewing next to her. That's when she learnt her lesson - Sometimes moms are evil too.
Some eat you just for sensual pleasure and some keep you as a pet. Yet so courageous that you’re, you want to be born nine times. If only I was Haruki’s Nakata, I would talk to you. Had I been Newton, I would've built large and small doors for you and your kin. But I'm nobody, just a glutton who loves to lick fingers, especially when she turns me into the beast. Yours truly,
PS: Please forgive them for the recent song. All I can say is when the mouse is away, the cat will play.
Legend had it that anybody who went to the haunted town of Jagginara after midnight, disappeared forever. It was cursed by the magician Jaggi who was known to practise transforming humans into animals. Over the decades, many people had dared to challenge the belief. All had failed. Reports for missing people, who were last seen around Jagginara, piled up over the years without any result. While stories suggest there was not a single soul in the village for years after the death of Jaggi, the population of cats has increased since then mysteriously.
The mystery was confounding. The top sleuth in the country was stumped for answers. Not a clue pointing towards the death of the most richest lady in the world.
All the circumstances pointed towards the adopted daughter Ela as prime suspect having the wealth as motive but she escaped scotfree for lack of evidence.
Ela was the happiest on being declared as legal heir. She then settled on her cosy chair with a glass of wine and beckoned her partner in crime Bella meow whose hairs had poisoned the lady slowly.The old lady was sensitive to allergens.
“Hey Fluffy, who’s that fat, orange weirdo over there?”
“Oh, that? That’s Garfield and his girlfriend Arlene!”
“Duh, what a contrasting couple! But why is he like that?”
“Because he’s Garfield. Forever sleepy and hungry, especially for Lasagna. He’s obnoxious yet cool. All he does is make snide, sarcastic comments and poke fun at people. “
“Bloody moron! And that toy...”
“Spooky, Garfield’s most loved thing in the world, more than Arlene.”
“What a loser!”
“Shhh! You’ll get both of us killed! Look, he’s a legend. Humans absolutely love this dude.”
‘‘Dude? Legend?” thought an astonished, flabbergasted, dumbfounded Bing.
The weight on my chest is what woke me. The dream was fading rapidly. I couldn't remember all of it. There was a sense of discovery. And claws. I was certain there were claws.
The claws I could understand. Ailuromania does that to you. It creeps into your mind, a singular imperative to adopt, to take care of. But only I managed to turn it into a science. A study of habits, the strange behaviour they always exhibit. A pattern emerged.
The purring brought me back. A cat, staring me in the face.
“You’ve learned too much.”